Want Breath so fresh that polar bears will prefer to sniff it rather than wallow in the icy cold waters of the arctic? Our tongue scraper is forged from the molten ore of the earth. Made from 100% pure copper, its anti-microbial powers will force the hordes of fuzzy white bacteria living on your tongue to flee in sheer terror, vanquishing your dragon-like morning breath and replacing it with the aroma of a butterfly-winged unicorn after having gorged on lavender flower-infused ambrosia.
Having fresh breath has been proven to increase your chances of getting a date by 137%* getting more dates increases your chance of getting lucky. Therefore, scraping your tongue will increase your orgasm by 137% - you don't want to miss out on that do you?
How to Clean Your Tongue
Use as directed, supervise children, discontinue use if irritation occurs.
Continued use may cause your breath to become insanely fresh, which may lead to increased make out sessions, a raise at work, or herds of kittens spontaneously following you through the streets. Make sure you are prepared to take on approximately 62%* increase in general awesomeness.
*Not actually proven by science, but you already figured that out.
Want Breath so fresh that polar bears will prefer to sniff it rather than wallow in the icy cold waters of the arctic? Our tongue scraper is forged from the molten ore of the earth. Made from 100% pure copper, its anti-microbial powers will force the hordes of fuzzy white bacteria living on your tongue to flee in sheer terror, vanquishing your dragon-like morning breath and replacing it with the aroma of a butterfly-winged unicorn after having gorged on lavender flower-infused ambrosia.
Having fresh breath has been proven to increase your chances of getting a date by 137%* getting more dates increases your chance of getting lucky. Therefore, scraping your tongue will increase your orm by 137% - you don't want to miss out on that do you?
How to Clean Your Tongue
Use as directed, supervise children, discontinue use if occurs.
Continued use may cause your breath to become insanely fresh, which may lead to increased make out sessions, a raise at work, or herds of kittens spontaneously following you through the streets. Make sure you are prepared to take on approximately 62%* increase in general awesomeness.
*Not actually proven by science, but you already figured that out.
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